The King of Wuxi is always telling me how the original Olympics held in Ancient Greece featured nude competitors. One of his beefs with the Modern Olympics, besides the restriction on lard and soap in Greco-Roman Wrestling, is the fact that there are no nude competitors nor, for that matter, nude spectators. To him, this takes away from the Olympic spirit which is not about peace and love, as he sees it, but an admiration of the human body.
To correct what he sees as a grievous Modern misinterpretation of the intended spirit of the Olympics, the King of Wuxi is proud to announce that he will be watching the Olympics in the nude at his apartment in the Hui Shan New City area of Wuxi, China and that all interested subjects of the his Wuxi, China Expat Kingdom are welcome to join him for a nominal fee of 100 rmb plus a transportation fee. And not only will you be able to see his magnificence sans clothes, meiyou yifu, he will cook you up a batch of meatloaf or quiche, the recipes for which he has been perfecting in his new apartment’s oven. The air will also be very clean.
Here is a photo of the King and I watching the opening of the 1988 Calgary Olympics in a local Chinese restaurant.
If you are interested in attending this exclusive event, you can email me at email@example.com or the KoW himself at firstname.lastname@example.org (in the subject line type: Watching the Olympics in the Nude! I’m there!). And be quick! Tickets for this once-in-a-lifetime event are limited.